When we're have a flat tire we usually do two things. First we remove the defective tire, but none of us would think of hopping into the driver's seat and driving away at that point. No, there's another essential step; put on a good tire! I realize that may sound painfully obvious to you, but when it comes to quitting, too many of us remove the bad tire (habit) and try to drive off! We can't just remove, we need to replace. Cigarettes served a purpose (several, probably) and we will need some new ways to fill those voids. Tobacco, even while it was robbing and killing us, kept our hands busy, helped fill our time, distracted us from various feelings, gave us something to do! We need a new tire that will do all of those things (without filling our lungs with arsenic and polonium.)

When it comes to finding new healthy activities or hobbies, think - "Hands, Head, Heart." Activities that keep our heads and hands busy while lifting our heart (mood) are ideal! Think about the HHH activities that you might find pleasurable. If you try an activity and it doesn't quite make your apple turn over, try another one. Don't be afraid to spend a little of that Ciggy Bank money trying out a new hobby. Take an introductory class, buy a few tools and materials for your new hobby. It's OK to spend a little dough - you're worth it!

When you chose a HHH activity, drop me a note and let me know how it's going. I love to be able to share other quitters' good ideas!

Here are some of my favorite HHH activities I've heard from quitting friends:

Quitting, Sitting, Knitting  - "I'm sitting in my new lawn glider (thanks, ciggy bank!) knitting for my grand kids."

Gardening - "Yard work doesn't wear me out like it used to! Weeding keeps my head and hands busy. My time in the garden feels like therapy and we're saving money on the grocery bill too!"

Kayaking - "I bought a kayak and all the go-withs (paddles, vests, helmets) with just a couple months of ciggy bank loot. My teens and I have never had more fun together! We're out on the water almost every weekend."

Stained Glass - "I've always thought working with stained glass would be interesting, but I never felt right about spending the money on myself. But now I realize that I'm worth it and this new habit is WAY better for me! I'm not an expert yet, but I've already started making Christmas gifts with my own two hands. 'Can't teach an old dog new tricks? Horsefeathers!"

I hope you are taking good care of you! Feel free anytime to email me about any specific trouble you're having with your quit plan. I'm glad to help whenever I can. I'm also on Twitter if you wish to follow me there:  TobaccoQwitter 

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"One More Day" 02/29/2012
 
Today is an unusual day, at least according to the calendar. But we have the opportunity and perhaps the obligation to make today remarkable, regardless of what the calendar says. Of course, we could just do the things we always do and today would just be one more day.

When my friend Richard found out that he had terminal throat cancer and terminal lung cancer (does anyone really need TWO terminal conditions?) he decided to come to a quit smoking group. He decided that he was going to do whatever was in his power so that he could have one more day! (( click here to hear Richard's Story ))

Ask a dying grandmother, standing in the gap raising her grandkids, preparing them for life without her, praying that she has taught them enough to survive without parents... Ask HER about the value of one more day.

Ask the parents in the NICU holding their tiny premature baby in their arms, listening to the news they've been fearing... Ask THEM about the value of one more day.

I don't mean to be grim. I hope you don't misunderstand. But I think that I can way too easily forget the value of one more day. I don't know what today will hold, what trial or triumph waits for me, but I've decided that I don't want to miss it - whatever it is.

So let's muster up some faith, find some hope, borrow some confidence from those who have traveled this path already.

Let's make today count!



P.S. I am ALWAYS glad to hear from you. I want to know about your trials and your triumphs.Your tales from your journey help me as I try to help others on their journey. Stay in touch. -Thank you!
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__ (Stop, Go, Change, Change)

For years people have been telling me that BESOCHEMPS has helped them understand their sometimes complicated reasons for wanting to smoke. I've also been encouraged by folks who told me that they used the BESOCHEMPS model to address their binge-spending, pornography, over-eating, self-injury, drinking, and drugging problems. The 5-Headed Dragon has reportedly save a few marriages and I can't express how thankful I am to hear all of the great stories.
     I'm quite certain that understanding the origin of the want can improve our ability to cope with it (without sucking soot!) However, even if you're not exactly sure which head of the dragon is causing the desire if you address all five heads, you'll put an end to the desire to smoke. When in doubt, deal with all five heads, right?
     Here's a quick way to cover all five heads. Use it consistently and your soot-sucking days are numbered!

BE (behavioral trigger)            “STOP” what you're doing!
Get up out of your seat at work. Take a break from the frustrating task.  Now obviously if driving is the behavior that triggers us into the state of want, we can't just stop driving. We'd have global gridlock on every road if we did! But we can change the radio station we're listening to and hopefully the thoughts in our head at the same time!

SO (social trigger)                 “GO” someplace else!
Go for a quick walk around the block or even down the hall. Go sit in the room with nicest view for a few minutes. Get away from the stressor or conflict, even if it's just for a few minutes. Of course there's nothing like a walk on the beach, but if that's not possible, try visualizing a relaxing beachwalk, a trip to a flowery meadow, a quiet walk through a misty forest. We can go anywhere in our imagination!

CH (chemical craving)                 Alter your brain chemistry!  "CHANGE YOUR HEAD"
OK, relax! This isn't as scary as it sounds. Infuse your brain with lots of freshly oxygenated blood by doing some deep breathing. If you're still using NRT (nicotine replacement therapy), go ahead and have a piece of nicotine gum or use your nicotine inhaler along with these other interventions. (Dragons have five heads!) Sometimes increasing our blood glucose level can help really change how we feel. A granny smith apple and some deep breathing make a world of difference! Even a short burst of physical exercise causes an endorphin response in your brain! There are plenty of safe, natural ways to adjust your brain chemistry (without sucking a lung full of arsenic & polonium!)

EM (emotional urge)                 Pray, affirm, meditate!   "CHANGE YOUR HEART"
PS (psychological compulsion)   
Yes, even though there's a difference between our emotional urges to smoke and our compulsions towards self-destruction, the way to address both is the same. We need to nourish our spirit, soul, or inner child. Whatever we call that part of us, we can agree that it needs nourishment. Praying, meditating, and reciting our affirmations can really change how we feel.

Put it all together and a dragon-killer intervention might look like this:

Imagine sitting in the den watching TV when a persistent desire to smoke occurs. Even if we can't figure out why we want a cigarette, we can absolutely defeat it!

Pause the TV (Don't you love DVR!?) Say a familiar prayer as you walk to the kitchen to grab a glass of green tea (or a granny smith apple?) Set the timer in the kitchen for 7 minutes. Go out to the deck or sit in the window seat - breathing deeply as you walk there. Breathe deeply for another minute before treating yourself to a guided imagery walk on the beach as you recite your affirmation. In about the same amount of time that we used to waste smoking a cigarette, we've eliminated a desire to smoke and nourished our soul! No matter which head of the dragon was causing the desire to smoke, it gone now! With practice, patience & persistence we will be free again my friend! Now go back and finish watching that TV show.

Memorize this powerful tool: STOP, GO, CHANGE YOUR HEAD, CHANGE YOUR HEART!

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_It's that time of year when many of us may have made a New Years Resolution. It's also that time of year when most of us will have slipped up. Statistics show that lots of us don't make it for two weeks. But resolutions attached to a rather arbitrary calendar date are certainly not the only way to make changes (and probably not the best way.)

Change is usually difficult and I think it's really important that we don't beat ourselves up if/when we slip up.

Remember that your beliefs are the key to your behaviors. If we carefully examine our beliefs we will find the ones that support continuing smoking. I used to believe "I'm too young to worry about what these cigarettes are doing to my health." At some point something or someone challenged that belief. If they challenged my belief in a respectful manner, I was more likely to "hear" them. (Please remember that when we try to challenge other folks' beliefs.) Once we change those beliefs that support smoking, the behavior of smoking is much easier to stop because it is not supported.

So when I discover, for instance, that I believe "Smoking is the only reward I allow myself," I apply a healthy dose of truth. Smoking is not a "reward," it is shortening my life, emptying my wallet, stinking up my clothes, and making it less likely that I'll get to see my grandchildren graduate. Ouch! Yes, that is the truth and the truth will set us free. So if I apply that truth to our ideas about "rewards," I will no longer be comfortable thinking I am "rewarding" myself when I smoke.

We can chip away at those false beliefs and replace them with healthy truths, gradually and permanently changing our behavior. That will be the REAL SOLUTION, preferable to any fleeting RESOLUTION. Make it a happy, healthy new YOU!

Be CONSCIOUS of your BELIEFS.
Then CHALLENGE the BELIEFS that support smoking with truths.
You'll CHANGE your BELIEFS!
Now CHANGING your BEHAVIOR will be much easier!

Thanks for taking good care of you!
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           On September 11, 2001 my friend Janice hugged her brother good-bye and sent him off to Logan airport where he had a seat on Flight 11 to LAX. He would return to Los Angeles after a 2 week visit with Janice and her son Jason. Janice had been smoke free for 2 months (she declared her independence on Independence Day – the fourth of July!)

            Imagine her horror as she watched, like we all did that day, the video tape of flight 11 flying into the World Trade Center… She would see that image repeated dozens of times that day and that image was more horrific for her than it was for most of us. Of course at a time of intense grief like that, we are all tempted to return to a familiar “friend” – cigarettes. Janice heard the “little voice in her head” assuring her that a cigarette would help her feel better, that she could have just one…. She asked herself honestly, “would a cigarette make me feel better?” As she thought about that question, the little voice tempted her again, as if to seize her at a weak moment. Shaken beyond my understanding this exemplary woman summoned the truth from deep down inside of her. “Sure!” she exclaimed aloud. “A cigarette might make me feel better – for a minute. But it won’t change anything! IT WON’T CHANGE ANYTHING!” she sobbed loudly.

            Janice was absolutely right. No matter what the stressor is, no fight, fear, or frustration is going to get better because we choose to smoke. Smoking will never solve anything, never fix anything, never improve anything (except some tobacco company’s profits!) As she sobbed the truth that day, the lie fled. The truth within her (something she had come to believe from her Wednesday night Quit Smoking group) chased the lie away! The day had sufficient tragedy without Janice relapsing into her tobacco dependence. The loss of her brother and the loss of her freedom would have made the day doubly dreadful.

            Mid-afternoon that day the phone rang. Janice figured that the FAA had released the official passenger list and that Janice’s Mom had received a call confirming their loss. Janice was shocked to hear her brother’s voice. He explained that when he arrived at Logan and complained about having to wait so long for his flight, a helpful ticket agent had transferred his seat to an earlier flight. His flight was in the air over Chicago when the fated planes were hijacked. He was grounded in Chicago and waited for hours to get inside the terminal and use the payphones to call his family.

            Consider Janice’s temptation. Consider her choices. Janice is one of the truly heroic and wise people I have had the privilege of meeting and knowing through my work. She knew the truth and it set her free. The truth is that no cigarette ever makes anything better. The day will live forever as a tragedy, but because Janice clung to the truth that day her family will have two reasons to be grateful.

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Reynolds American Incorporated is the organization that manufactures and  markets Camel cigarettes and other tobacco products. They recently published some reports which I have excerpted below in italics.

Natural American Spirit tries desperately to look like a safer or more wholesome cigarette. Of course, that's a lie (like almost everything else the tobacco industry tries to make us believe.)
In fact, a pack of Natural American Spirit contains 4 times as much "crack nicotine" as a pack of Marlboro regulars! For years Reynolds has attempted to distance the NAS brand from the Reynolds name so NAS might continue to appear more virtuous. But NAS is a wholly owned subsidiary of RAI. It looks like RAI knew that people wouldn't believe them if they tried to peddle a "wholesome" cigarette, so they created NAS as a front.
Now NAS is getting too big and too profitable for them to hide it.
     Their own words seem to admit that they've been trying to hide the fact that they own the Sante Fe Tobacco Company, which makes the Natural American Spirit cigarettes:

It's Becoming Harder To Keep Natural American Spirit "Hidden." We think RAI's Natural American Spirit brand (Santa Fe) is one of the industry's best kept secrets or "Hidden Gems" and believe the business could be worth as much as $2.7 billion. We believe RAI has flexibility to unlock this value given that Santa Fe is a 100% owned subsidiary of RAI with a separate salesforce and
manufacturing facility. Also, RAI will soon be forced to break out Santa Fe from its Other segment since its operating profit is approaching the 10% threshold for GAAP reporting which should provide increased visibility.

I try to keep hate out of my heart because I think hate is usually bad for our "funnel," but I hate that these knuckleheads are still profiting from their deceit.
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On some level we smokers, despite the obvious health risks of smoking, we continue to harm ourselves (or refuse to protect ourselves.) Therein lies the mystery of that 5th head of the dragon. [Note: If you are not familiar with the 5 Headed Dragon, please check out that section of this site!]

That willingness to self-destruct betrays a lack of self-love. Every civilized society across the globe would agree that it is "wrong" for me to harm you. Why then is it "OK" for you to harm you? Ideally it would not be "OK." What better way to change our beliefs (it's OK to harm me) than to practice kindness towards others? Certainly demonstrating kindness towards others is a win-win solution to our soul-dented state. We all feel good when we do good. We see ourselves as more lovable when we are loving others. I double dog dare you to take a week of ciggy bank money (or a month's worth!) and use it to bless someone in need.

I'm not a doctor, but my favorite remedy for a sagging self-image is a large dose of Lovanother! And when it comes to good causes, there's one that will always top my list. Operation Christmas Child is a ministry of Samaritan's Purse. Last year OCC, through the benevolence of lots of folks just like you and me, delivered 8.2 million shoe boxes filled with Christmas gifts to needy children all across the globe.

Check out their website and you'll see why it's a win-win situation. You'll be blessed when you reach into your pocket on behalf of another soul. I double dog dare you!  ;-) 
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This young man is the blessed to receive some gifts from a stranger far away. But the stranger is likewise blessed in a beautiful way. I'm an Area Coordinator for Operation Christmas Child and I'd love to answer your questions about this great opportunity. (besochemps@gmail.com)
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Knowing and loving this young man has caused me to rethink the definition of the word "impossible."

I really think that the caption says it all...
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Years ago one of my quitters called me while she was having a strong urge to smoke. She told me that she was avoiding going to the grocery store because that was where she used to buy her cigarettes. What a GREAT time to declare your independence from tobacco!

She said, “ I just THINK about those rows and rows and rows of cigarettes.” As she spoke I remembered a time in my life when I was completely overwhelmed by rows and rows and rows… of TOMBSTONES.

As a child I visited Arlington National Cemetery. I remember being completely overwhelmed when I thought about all of the people who died defending our nation and our freedom. In every direction, stretching out before my eyes were rows and rows of white stones, white crosses, marking the final resting place of a soldier or sailor -a hero I would never know - that I could never thank.

Then I remembered another fact I had learned about tobacco. The lethal dose of nicotine for an adult is approximately 60 milligrams (which is the amount of nicotine in an average pack of cigarettes.)

When I put that fact together with her comment about “rows and rows and rows” of cigarettes, I suddenly thought of the picture below.

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Of course I mean no disrespect to the souls memorialized in Arlington National Cemetery, but I’ll never see the rows of cigarettes at a store without thinking of this picture. As you and yours celebrate your independence and remember those who sacrificed to purchase your freedom, PLEASE do whatever it takes to get and stay FREE from tobacco’s grip.
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With a holiday weekend coming up we ought to talk about social events and what they can mean to a new quitter or near quitter.

Quitting doesn't usually happen without a plan. I know a few exceptions to that statement, but those are stories for another day. This week one or more of our friends will ask,"Have you got any plans for the long weekend?" Well, my friends I hope you do have plans - plans to get/stay smoke-free!

Filling the deck with a couple friends or the backyard with a couple dozen and you'll be filling your lungs with arsenic unless you're careful! If you were going to have a get together you'll need to spend some time planning what to eat, what to buy, who to invite or where to go. You may need to scrape the grill or sweep the deck. Planning and preparation are  part of any holiday weekend. So be sure you plan and prepare to get/stay smoke-free.

If you're hosting the get together, consider how or if you want to make accommodations for your smoking guests. You can find an outdoor spot, perhaps slightly out of sight of the deck or picnic table and place an ashtray there. Two chairs can identify the space, but chairs may make it too comfortable for folks to smoke. Think about the message you want to convey to smokers. (We all hated feeling judged when we were smoking, so try to be gentle on the soot-suckers!) Having the designated smoking area out of sight can really help since seeing others smoke presents a very strong trigger for many of us.

Preparing lots of low-calorie nibblies is a good idea too. Being able to grab some crisp chopped veggies can help us keep our hands and our mouths busy. Consider adding a hot horse radish dip because hot and spicy foods can be more "fun" for our mouths and may even trigger the release of endorphins. Our brains like that!

Think before you drink! Alcohol may seem like a party essential, but remember that alcohol lowers our resistance. Identifying a satisfying substitute is a better idea, especially for newly 'smober' folks. A tall ice cold glass of mixed fruit juice with a scoop of sherbet and a bendy straw can convince me that I'm not missing anything! Best of all, my judgment is intact and my weekend can be regret-free!

Friends, be sure you include taking good care of YOU in your holiday plans! I'd love to hear about smart smober plans you're making!
 
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